Praise can be hard to hear...

I am currently working with a year 10 student in Pakuranga College (let’s call him John). I met John in the first term of 2012. John has a lot of potential to be a great leader to his friends. He is very influential among his peers and has a lot of energy in him. Each time we meet he is always up for anything and will try to have fun with what he does.

When you first meet him you notice that he has this rugged and rebellious attitude. He has a reputation of being disrespectful towards authority and being a troublemaker. John started to open up to when he told me that his teachers were praising him for some good feedback he had received. A normal kid would like it when they are being praised by others especially their teachers, but not John. John said to me “I don’t like it when people say good things about me… I am not used to it.” This really gave me a new perspective towards John. All this time I didn’t quite know why John acted the way he did but when he told me that, we realised that he was acting this way because he has never heard anyone say anything good about him.

Each time John and I would meet one-on-one, he would slowly open up more and tell me more of his side of the story. It turned out that his relationship with his father was shaky and he thinks he is no good as a son because his dad told him so. It was quite sad to hear his side of the story, having your father put you down would really affect your confidence and outlook in life. Slowly but surely John trusted me and we slowly worked on the things that are troubling him. At the moment John still has struggles with holding on to his reputation but his relationship with his father is slowly getting stronger. I am glad to see that he is slowly having a more positive outlook in life.

#photo #praise #progress #tokenveloso #youthwork #pakuranagacollege